Thursday, 11 May 2017

The Search

Years of searching had finally gotten him here. 
At the place he had begun at. 
At the place, he wished he would not end up at. 

He walked up to the door, pushing it with his hand, knowing well enough that it would be unlocked. 

But to his shock and dismay, he found it to hold steady under his force. 

A woman walking out to clear her garbage, saw him standing, pushing the door of her neighbors house. 

'Who are you?' She shouted from afar, walking closer to him. 

'I... I... I'm an old friend of hers' he replied,stammeeing, his mind just as shocked at his heart over the blatant lie.

'Aah... so you didn't hear' she said, her face dropping. 

His breath caught at his throat, his heart raced. He feared the worst and if then, he knew he could do nothing. 

'She left us a while back... left her home to her son' she said. 

A tear rolled down his cheek, followed by many more. His heart didn't give out, but he hoped it would. His mind cried out in sorrow, his mouth doing the same. His screams echoed throughout the street, the same way hers had that night he left. 

Fate had played a cruel trick on them. The Gods had taken revenge on him. 

Alone,in the world. Forever, to find himself again. 




The Call


I wasn't surprised to hear the phone ring. 
But I was surprised to see the name that popped up on the screen. 
He hadn't called... not since.. well. 

I took the call. 

'Hey', a tired voice breathed from the other end. 

'Hey... how are you?'

'I'm... I'm ok.' 

'You sure?'

'No.' 

The answer made me curious. I had never heard him speak in such assertive tones before. 

'So... what happened?'

'Well... I recently had a few tests done. I had a pretty nasty bout of fever and...'

'And?'

'Well a few of the results seem to have shocked my doctor. I'd like for you to take a look.'

'Yeah sure. Anytime.'

'I'll Whatsapp it over.'

'I did not realize that you were so...conscious about your health.'

'Well someone has to... and it's not like anyone's there to... you know...after what happened...'

I could hear his voice breaking, trailing off. 

'How's the business?', I asked, changing the topic quickly. 

Bad topic, I thought, a few minutes late. 

'Much better. I got what I wished for. And I hate it here now.'

Now I couldn't say I sympathized with him regarding this. That was the extent of the issues he had created. But... he was my brother. And a pained one at that.

'Listen...I'll call you la...' 
I didn't let him complete,cutting in. 

'Hold up. You listen to me. Stop this lone man act.'

'What? Why? I'm perfectly comfortable the way I am now.'

'No you are not. The man I knew, the brother I grew up with, he would have cracked ten lame jokes in these few minutes we got.'

'Don't get worked up man. This is... this is the new me. The old me is gone.'

'No! I refuse to accept that. I know you're in there. I know that...' she trailed off, her voice thick from all the emotion running through her. 

'We both lost parents in that accident. Not only me. So for them atleast, don't be like this.'

'It wasn't your fault'
His voice was so low, I almost didnt hear him say it. 

'What?', I asked, surprised. 

'It wasn't your fault that they died.'

'And it was yours?', I asked.

'Yes.'

'In what way? You're just blaming yourself for things that isn't even true.'

'I know it. It was all that I said... my words...my actions. It drove them over the edge.'

'It did not man.'

'It did. I was a failure. I still am. Just that no ones around to judge me, correct me. I have no social life. My friends left me. My wife is distant and cheating on me with someone whom I called my best friend.' He paused to take a breath. 

And I took the opportunity. 
'That is not your fault. None of those are. A car came and hit theirs. They did not drive into it. And You.Are.Not.A.Failure. Look at you running the businesses successfully. Your friends were all the friend versions of gold diggers. Papa and Mummy did warn you earlier. And your wife. Bah. I warned you that she was the wrong choice for you. But you were adamant. Now stop moping around, get off your ass and grow the empire. It's what Papa and Mummy would have wanted you to do. I know it, even our sister knows it.'

He was silent. 

'Bro?'

'I'm here.'

'And?'

'Thank you. I needed that. I've sent the report. I'll call soon.'

And that was the last I heard of him for a few weeks. 

The next time, he did not call. He came in his car. He brought our sister along. And we went to our favorite fast food burger place. 

'I'm divorcing her' he told in my ear, out of earshot of her. 

I just smiled at him. 

'You were right. I was wrong. God that eats me up from the insides'
And I watched as a genuine laugh formed at his mouth. So, I joined in. So did she. 

He was happy. And by extension, so was I. And we all were, at that moment. 

Now if only they were here to see it. 


Monday, 24 April 2017

Friend

When the heart does beat 
For one or none, it's no small feat
Hiding away myself, oh my dear
Out of nothing but for fear
Of what may be or what may not 
A night or day, my eyes bloodshot 
Far or near, the distance so clear
The pain nothing but a removable smear 
A journey in love, afar, begun in pain 
Temporary, a hope, forever, never a gain 
Hope, renewed, a star born new


A friend like you, oh, so few 


- Sachin 

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Pain

To live in the world is to pain
To pain in the world is to love
To bring life into the world she pains 
From that life our heart feels pain
For sorrow and joy sees no 'morrow
The present is all it sees 
Such a fickle companion these feelings 
Seen an instant, vanishes the next 
The marks forever remain so 
Until the wave of joy washes over 
Only to resurface again 


At the hands of the ones we love, we pain again


- Sachin Nath

Sunday, 15 January 2017

The Sea

The waves touch my feet
Yet the feelings touch my heart
The sand sticks to my feet
Yet the memories stick to my mind
The sounds reaches my ears
Yet the pain reaches my body
The view falls on my eyes
Yet the vision never falls from my soul



Sunday, 4 December 2016

The Glass Slipper

Loneliness... it got to him.
Even though he said it did not matter, how much ever he tried to convince his mind otherwise, he knew it did.
His parents worried, his friends worried. His sisters worried. And he did not show to the world, his worries.

He put up a brave face. Tormented by the prospect of will it screw me up or will it not.
He knew many beautiful girls. But he was afraid to ask them out. He knew it might end in disaster. But it might not.

Every single step in life mattered. And he did Not have a significant other.
It made him furious. He knew he would be good at this stuff.
But he had no one to prove it with.

So he spent his time between the gym,his home and work. He became fit with each passing day. His work skills improved. And he tried not to lose hope.

One day, his Cinderella in The Pumpkin Chariot would ride up.
All he had to do was wait for her glass slipper to fall off and into his hands.


Tears

Wave after wave of powerful emotions hit me. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak.
All I could do was let the tears roll out.

I had just walked on to my wife cheating on me. They still hadn't noticed me, enthralled in their moment of passion.
There was this dude balls deep in her, facing away from me.
I could see her back arched, enjoying the moment. Her shapely ass hitting back at his muscular body, his hands occasionally slapping her ass.

He bend over to grab her boobs and that's when she said, let's change position.

Extracting themselves, they noticed me standing at the door.
She probably didn't see what I was holding in my hand during her frantic rush to grab on to the blanket.
He dived under the bed, presumably for his jeans or shirt. He didn't come back up from there, hiding his shame.


She was shocked. Words failed her. But I had recorded everything, or atleast the parts I had seen, in my phone. His primal grunts, her sensual moaning, him calling her name and she his... and as the final nail in the coffin... their faces.


I didn't say anything to her. She must have thought that I would want to talk about this to her.
But all I said was,'My lawyer shall contact you. You may leave this home, or you may not. But that man cannot stay here.'

He left in a hurry. She didn't.

I stayed over at a hotel nearby. She stayed at the house.

The next day, I went to my friend. He was a lawyer. He could help me out.


He asked for me to have a consulting session with a marriage counselor.

She had agreed apparently.
And I didn't say anything against it.


All the procedures followed.

Months later, I had my divorce.

And I watched in tears as the woman whom I had loved with all my heart walked away from me. She had broken it into tiny tiny pieces, but even then, when I saw her walking away... it made me cry again.


'Pussy' I scolded myself. I walked back to my car, ready for a new life, in a new city.