What do I owe you
My heart, my soul
Thieving bastard you are
Hiding in the dark
Moving things quietly
Tiptoeing, unseen by me
But, oh, I see you
I can feel your arms caressing me
I shiver in pain, You smile
Fear creeps in, You laugh
A light in the dark, Your face changes
A hand through the tunnel, You flee
Sunday, 7 March 2021
Hidden
Saturday, 26 October 2019
Beside Me
As I pass into the void, the light
Into an unknown, where fear may strike me
Into the unknown, where I may take flight
As I take my last breath
And my eyes flutter
Will you stand beside me
Holding my hand, not crying
For, my love, to watch your eyes
Well up with tears, overflowing
As I pass into the realm alone
May be the worst parting gift I could ever receive
Tuesday, 15 October 2019
Child to Adult
Loneliness is my fort
Echoing my voice
Amongst the stone walls
The ebb of humans walking around the fort
Hear do I, ignoring the sound
The noise gets to my nerves
The speech to my mind
Laughter echoing in the chamber
Fading into the dark
Pictures on the wall
Thousands, changing by the day
Friends out without me
Relegating me to bystander
Thorn after thorn in my crown
Thorn after thorn in my heart
Change I do look forward to
A smile, some work, keeping busy too
Worry and sorrow far away then
Surrounded by colleagues, the fort disappears
Saturday, 13 October 2018
Love
He cupped her face in his hands, ever so tender, caressing her soft cheeks with his thumb.
- Sachin
Saturday, 6 October 2018
The Call
Monday, 4 December 2017
Dusk
I didn’t think this day would come.
I finally gathered the courage to catch his hand.
He flung me away like a cow, a fly.
I landed hard.
I crash landed hard.
I felt things inside me. My back hurt. I was in pain.
And then I saw him raise his hand at my mother again.
And suddenly, the pain vanished.
Something else filled instead. It was boiling. It was spewing. It scalded my skin. It boiled my head.
It tore open my throat.
I screamed.
I jumped.
He looked at me, incredulous.
Shock was replaced with mirth.
His eyes laughed at me.
I bit his leg.
Now it was his turn to scream.
I felt metal in my mouth. I felt liquid in my mouth. I felt flesh in my mouth.
He fell back.
I jumped up, wiping the blood with my hand.
I saw that he was trying to get up.
I took the lamp nearby and hit him.
It was heavy.
I dropped it on him.
He fell down in a pool of blood.
My mother came at me, screaming.
‘Get out!’ She screamed. ‘Run for your life!’
She took some money and gave it to me.
‘Go, Son. My beautiful Kanna. Save yourself from this hell. ‘
With that, she pushed me into the street.
I ran, till I could no more. I did not look back. I ran. Just ran. Forward and forward.
The blood flew down. It stained my back. It fell into my knickers. And down my leg.
And I ran. And kept on running. Until I fell down somewhere.
I opened my eyes to see angels around me. They walked around hurried. They looked angry. But one smiled at me.
‘You’ll be fine’ she said, caressing my forehead.
Like mother used to.
I looked around.
Beds near me. People in that. People walking around them. Cries. Laughter. People chewing.
Was I at a hospital?
Sunday, 3 December 2017
Sunshine
'What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'
The words were scribbled on the wall. Amongst other inspirational quotes.
I smiled at it.
Always the optimist, the idiot.
I move along, as silent as I can.
The dog looks up at me, his intelligent eyes locating mine.
He puts his head back down, dismissing me as a non-threat. He has seen me before here.
My dress make a swish swish noise as I walk.
He chooses to ignore it, turning his head away.
I'm not impressed.
Aren't dogs supposed to protect their owners?
I should do something about that.
The sunlight is filtering through the curtained window.
It's pretty late in the day, why hasn't he woken up? I wonder.
Then I remember he liked to sleep in. Like a lot. A lot.
I can see him sleeping on the sofa. The TV is on, playing some sort of movie.
I look at it.
It has women with no clothes on. They seem to be in pain. They're screaming.
I remember that pain. I remember screaming.
I make way to the sofa.
He's covered up, snoring.
His legs can be seen outside the covers.
I take the knife, stabbing through the covers where his eye would be.
He sits up, bellowing.
I remove the knife and keep on stabbing.
I move along his body and finally I think I've hit where it counts. He is thrashing blindly. One hand hits my chest. I fall down.
He falls down, dead.
I remove the covers.
His eye is bloody. So is his body.
I remove the cover from his body.
He is naked underneath.
I find the instrument he used inside me. It has something white covering around it. It's dry, yet wet. I think it's the same thing he made me eat. I take a lick.
Yes. It's the same.
I take the knife and chop it off, slicing through it slowly.
I find the dog looking up at me. He is curious, I can see.
I feed him a small portion of the meat. Maybe he will keep some part of the body for others to find.
As I walk out, I look at the mirror on the wall.
Blood is on my hand and my knife.
My beautiful pink frock also has blood on it.
The dress is still big for me.
Mother had bought it for me last year. Before she died. I was young then.
I look at the quote again.
I climb up using a chair.
I write below it,
'Until it does.'
I'm happy, but I'm young no more.
He made sure I am not.
As I wash my hands in his sink, I remember to put out a bowl for him.
He'll be thirsty after the meal.